InsaneJournal

Current mood:

pissed off

(2:26:48 PM) Aunt Judi: emily what is [mama's] email addy?
(2:29:42 PM) Ellie: Uh, let me see if I find it
(2:29:48 PM) Ellie: I actually never email her
(2:30:03 PM) Aunt Judi: me either
(2:30:14 PM) Ellie: [email]
(2:30:24 PM) Aunt Judi: she wants to talk and I am not ready to do that face to face or phone
(2:30:33 PM) Ellie: yea
(2:30:33 PM) Aunt Judi: is she still that address?
(2:30:45 PM) Aunt Judi: especially after the frank blogs
(2:30:50 PM) Ellie: that's the only email address I have
(2:30:53 PM) Ellie: frank blogs?
(2:30:53 PM) Aunt Judi: hmmmm
(2:30:59 PM) Aunt Judi: oh you havent seen?
(2:31:13 PM) Aunt Judi: she hasnt either
(2:31:16 PM) Aunt Judi: linda has
(2:32:10 PM) Aunt Judi: [blog link]
(2:32:20 PM) Aunt Judi: it is directed to me and tif and my family
(2:32:29 PM) Aunt Judi: the witch infestation etc
(2:35:05 PM) Aunt Judi: and the other stuff about the wake and picking relatives
(2:35:10 PM) Aunt Judi: not a nice man
(2:35:56 PM) Ellie: Frank has some problems knowing when to keep his mouth shut, but I think all of you were less than gracious, if we're going to be gossiping
(2:36:08 PM) Aunt Judi: i am not gossiping
(2:36:10 PM) Aunt Judi: he was rude
(2:36:15 PM) Aunt Judi: he was out of place
(2:36:19 PM) Aunt Judi: and he was pushy
(2:36:26 PM) Aunt Judi: i left because of him
(2:36:29 PM) Ellie: going "Hey look at Frank's blog he was picking on me!" is gossip as I know it
(2:36:32 PM) Aunt Judi: he didnt know when to leave
(2:36:41 PM) Aunt Judi: no it is fact emily
(2:36:51 PM) Aunt Judi: he knows i am showing it to people i told him
(2:37:01 PM) Aunt Judi: so it is not gossip he is aware
(2:37:25 PM) Aunt Judi: if you like him fine i dont and he is using my brother as his crusade
(2:37:32 PM) Aunt Judi: thanks for the email
(2:37:35 PM) Aunt Judi: never mind
(2:37:41 PM) Ellie: not all facts need to be stated, and when it doesn't affect a given person, it is gossip intended to create a rift. It appears to me your intention, aside from being able to contact mama, is to foster a discontent between Frank and myself
(2:38:01 PM) Ellie: being AWARE of gossip doesn't make it suddenly cease being gossip
(2:38:45 PM) Ellie: Note I am not defending his actions; he is a zealot, but not a bad person for his bad habits
(2:39:04 PM) Aunt Judi: there we dont agree he is a bad person
(2:39:12 PM) Aunt Judi: he is a poor example of humanity
(2:39:16 PM) Aunt Judi: i never attacked him ever
(2:39:21 PM) Aunt Judi: he cannot say the same
(2:39:24 PM) Ellie: *shrug* I could say the same for the way you foment dissent, but I won't in that case either
(2:39:25 PM) Aunt Judi: i ignored him
(2:39:40 PM) Aunt Judi: emily screw off thank
(2:39:40 PM) Ellie: Did you ever say anything supportive to MAMA at the wake?
(2:40:29 PM) Ellie: From what I saw, it seemed you all ignored her pretty much completely, and for being 'family', that bugged me to no end.
(2:40:44 PM) Aunt Judi: you have no clue of family emily
(2:40:48 PM) Aunt Judi: so back down
(2:41:03 PM) Aunt Judi: you have a dysfuntional father at best and a screwwed up mother at worst
(2:41:08 PM) Ellie: I have family in my hubby and mama and papa and D and J
(2:41:10 PM) Aunt Judi: and you live in their shadow
(2:41:25 PM) Ellie: and I've discovered how closely we are knit in this loss
(2:41:26 PM) Aunt Judi: you have a faimly that is trying to funtion with your dysfuntion
(2:41:32 PM) Aunt Judi: indeed
(2:41:41 PM) Ellie: See, there you go again - the trying to tear people apart
(2:41:44 PM) Aunt Judi: but you still have no real concept of this fasmily
(2:41:55 PM) Aunt Judi: nope i am just tired of the crap and you are much of it
(2:42:01 PM) Aunt Judi: you whine all the time
(2:42:02 PM) Aunt Judi: bye
(2:42:22 PM) Ellie: You started whining, I merely pointed it out. Have a lovely day, however
(2:42:35 PM) Aunt Judi: i have alovely day everyday
(2:42:53 PM) Aunt Judi: and i dont tell people all my parentd did wrong all day when i meet them
(2:43:27 PM) Ellie: No, you tell everyone what THEY do wrong, which is just as wrong in my mind
(2:43:52 PM) Aunt Judi: and you whine of your past life all day that is WRONG WHO REALLY CARES MOVE ON GROW UP AND DEAL
(2:44:05 PM) Aunt Judi: BTW FRANK LIED TO US OVER AND OVER SO REMEMBER THAT
(2:44:10 PM) Ellie: Hmm, i actually made a big step towards moving on
(2:44:19 PM) Aunt Judi: good now continue
(2:44:30 PM) Ellie: However, I am wise enough to take all you say with a grain of salt
(2:44:41 PM) Aunt Judi: and you arent even that grain
(2:44:53 PM) Aunt Judi: really child go away




....let me explain some things, as well as this need to rant. I have NOTHING against pagans, wiccans, witches, or any other religion. I simply ask one thing: I will accord to you respect for your beliefs and lifestyle, but in the same I EXPECT THE SAME. I think that is both common sense – and common courtesy. Something REALLY seriously lacking.

Frank – and Aunt Judi – have plenty of reason to hate each other. Frank's an orthodox Christian; Judi's a witch who hates Christians. And both Frank and Judi are some of the strongest-opinionated people I know.

But when it came down to it, despite Judi's self-claimed knowledge of 'family', she LOVES to tear them apart. She likes to poke at mama any way she can, blaming her for papa's conversion to Christianity. Really, now – if they were FAMILY, the all-important word in her vocabulary, wouldn't that mean that REALLY Judi should have supported papa's decision – especially since it was responsible for changing him into the great man that was so deeply, deeply loved?

When it came down to the end, Frank helped the 'family' – papa's family. Shopping, cleaning, errands, phone calls, whatever it took, he did it. He was gracious to everyone – though too blunt, as is his fault. Mama wanted him in the receiving line at the wake as a family member, since mama and papa had pretty muched raised him. But Judi and her family put up such a bloody stink about it that he was forced out of line. Even the usually more reasonable Aunt Linda was a !@#$%&! about it, pardon my French! And throughout the entire wake, I didn't notice ANY of them saying anything NICE to her; they stood beside her and IGNORED her the entire time.

They never wished her a happy birthday or happy 25th anniversary; they fought her over papa's decision to go off dialysis, saying she forced him into it; they blamed her for him needing dialysis, dialysis not working, for papa dying. They all, at some point or another, blamed mama for it all. And yet she bent over BACKWARDS to still get along with them, because THAT was papa's wish, too.

I've never been so mad in my life. NO ONE is more affected by papa's loss and illness than mama is. NO ONE deserves comfort and support more than she does. And those selfish morons did everything they possibly COULD to make life MORE difficult for her!

.....Yea, Frank ranted about those 'witches' in his blog. Frank could have friends-locked that entry, or at least toned it down a little. It was rude, but it was also called for. They acted HORRIBLY to him for defending mama. They acted horribly to everyone, really, except those mandated circle of friends they approve of. They ignored me, too.

....and Judi could learn to grow up, because for crying out loud, she squawks about family this and family that, as if her family is a shining beacon, but they certainly don't look like a happy family to me!

I've learned, however disfunctional my family or families may be, that they're mine and we can all love each other despite our faults. I've learned that we can pull together. When I found a 'new' family when I married, I didn't abandon the old. I just learned more how to pull my own weight in a family. I wish I'd learned earlier so papa could see this, but I think he knows, too, because he had a lot to do with it.

And no gossip, no mudslinging, no half-truths can tear apart that truth.

But I sure wish Judi could learn some humility and stop acting like a spoiled 3rd grader throwing a temper tantrum – "But teacher, he called me NAMES!" – well, gee honey, maybe because you called him names first?


So yea, plenty pissed off.